can someone tell me why I don't dream

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Permalink Reply by Pz on July 21, 2009 at 3:43pm

Everybody dreams but only a few percent of us can remember all or parts of our dreams - I know it's all subconscious & it has to do with the stress in our lives & what our minds are trying to tell us. Unless it REALLY bothers you I wouldn't think anything of it - altho, I've heard of people training themselves to remember their dreams. I don't know if this helps but I have read several books on this & have always found dreams interesting - and no, I have never been able to "steer" my dreams into what I want like they say in the dreams.

Good Luck,
Pz

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Permalink Reply by lisa solomon on July 22, 2009 at 6:41am

thank you for info, its just they get so weird at times, I sometimes think maybe it means I am running from something, I know my son's death has done me in, And also I am divorced from my kids dad, we had 2 together still have our daughter but we share our house because he has liver disease that will take him also ans I want our daughter to have as much time with him as possible, our son was my first child and then doctors told me I would never be able to have anymore children due to complications but 7 1/2 years later we had our daughter, maybe for a reason I don't know but I think god knew I would not be able to handle Michaels death and give me her, but your right it could be stress and in my mind I am trying to run from it all, thank you, Lisa

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Permalink Reply by Shirley Hawley on July 28, 2009 at 9:53am

My son died by suicide in 2001 at the age of 24. Belonging to an online, wonderful group, I know this is usual. The dream of him standing there could be his visit to you to let you know he is alright. Most of us had that same dream at least once. The roller coaster dream is also common. After losing a child, our lives are forever like a roller coaster, ups and down. Sometimes we seem to do a little better and then comes the crashing down feeling. Since it is less than two years, the first year is filled with such numbness and disbelief. After all, we were not supposed to bury our child. It is probably becoming more real than like a nightmare. Like you, my Derek was my first born. Stress does rule our dreams at times and sometimes it causes disturbing dreams or similar dreams. I am just a little over 8 years of my loss and still my life is totally different, never to be the same. Thank God you have a home and a daughter and let her always know how precious she is to you. We lost everything including our home because we were unable to work or get work after losing our jobs. The loss ruled us and we still are trying to start all over but are both unemployed with no prospect of working again. We are trying to survive though. As things settle in your life, you should gradually change in the kind of dreams you have. I know with me, I am careful about what I talk about, read, or watch before I go to bed because as long as they are not serious talks, shows, etc., I stick to comedies or positive talks. I hope this helps and I hope you take your visit from your son as that, him visiting you and letting you know that he will always be around you. Some people don't get that dream until they can accept the loss and learn to live their new, unwanted life. The winding roads are also common because we now walk a different winding path that we hope more don't ever have to travel. You are not alone in your grief. God bless you, your daughter, and ex. Shirley ~ Mom of Derek

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Permalink Reply by lisa solomon on July 31, 2009 at 4:53pm

Hi, I just seen I had a reply, So sorry for your lose also, yes it all makes since, and your so right about the first year, even now I catch myself waiting for him to come home or I will remember something at the funeral home and its like I am just finding out he's gone and start crying like it just happened, and I do that over an over an over again, I guess my mind is not accepting it yet, I had to go on SSI because my mind is just basicly mush, Me and his dad fights all the time and I know its hard on our daughter but I am not mentally, phy. or finanually able to leave. and I know what your talking about on TV, I am really carfull what I watch especially if there is going to be death, but thank you so much for sharing we me, Its really very sad to know im not alone, thank you and hope we can talk again, Lisa

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Permalink Reply by Teresa on September 26, 2009 at 6:45pm

My husband has told me for years he didn't dream. My response was always, everybody dreams, you have have to train yourself to remember. Well, it turns out I was wrong. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea. It turns out there are several levels of sleep, but you have to get to the REM state before you can dream. He had so many sleep apnea episodes, he never really fully woke up, but he never got to the REM state either. So, I guess what I'm saying is you could also have a moderate form of sleep apnea or something else, preventing you from entering REM. You should have a sleep study done to find out. I agree though with Shirley's comment. I think your son was letting you know he's O.K. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother in an auto accident at 19. I dreamt of him often, but usually couldn't remember what we talked about once I woke, but I had the distinct feeling it was a real visit with his spirit in my alternate dream state, rather than just a made up dream. My poor mother, wanted desperately to dream of him, but did not. I could not share my dreams with her, because they made her more sad. The one and only time I remembered my dream conversation with my brother, was when I asked him why my Mom couldn't see him. He told me her pain was too great and he couldn't get through her tears. Years later, I was able to talk to my Mom about that particular dream. It helped a little. Mourning is such a personal thing. Each person has to do it in their own way. My prayer for you is that your pain will lessen and you can reach a place where you are at peace. Perhaps then you will be able to dream of him and really feel his joy of being of heaven. He does not want you to be sad. He is busy exploring a new plane of existence.

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Permalink Reply by Joan Faszczewski on December 21, 2009 at 11:39am

Well I had a dream before my dog died. But I heard her collar when she shakes her head but she was not home she was at a animal hospital. She died naturallly she was 10 years old. Sometimes I dream about my parents they were all in white. I do dream about about relatives that pass.

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